Traveling on the train

Traveling on the train

There was an Irishman, an Englishman and Claudia Schiffer sitting together in a carriage in a train going through Tasmania. Suddenly the train went through a tunnel and as it was an old style train there were no lights in the carriages and it went completely dark. 

Then there was this kissing noise and the sound of a really loud slap. When the train came out of the tunnel, Claudia Schiffer and the Irishman were sitting as if nothing had happened and the Englishman had his hand against his face as he had been slapped there. 

The Englishman was thinking: "The Irish fella must have kissed Claudia Schiffer and she missed him and slapped me instead." 

Claudia Schiffer was thinking: "The English fella must have tried to kiss me and actually kissed the Irishman and got slapped for it." 

The Irishman was thinking: "This is great! The next time the train goes through a tunnel I'll make another kissing noise and slap that English idiot again." 

Winter Sports Funny Fails

Funny Winter Sports Fails 

Funny Video 17.09.2012

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Big Motorcycle Compilation 2012

Here's one big sport & fast motorcycles fails compilation .












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The requirements of this job

The requirements of this job

Employer: "In this job we need someone who is responsible."

Applicant: "I'm the one you want. On my last job, every time anything went wrong, they said I was responsible."

Taking the final exam

Taking the final exam

Two college basketball players were taking an important final exam. If they failed, they would be on academic probation and not allowed to play in the big game the following week. The exam was fill-in-the-blank.

The last question read, "Old MacDonald had a ________."

Bubba was stumped. He had no idea what to answer. But he knew he needed to get this one right to be sure he passed.

Making sure the professor wasn't watching, he tapped Tiny on the shoulder. "Pssst. Tiny. What's the answer to the last question?"

Tiny laughed. He looked around to make sure the professor hadn't noticed then he turned to Bubba. "Bubba, you're so stupid. Everyone knows Old MacDonald had a FARM."

"Oh yeah," said Bubba. "I remember now."

He picked up his No. 2 pencil and started to write the answer in the blank. He stopped. Tapping Tiny's shoulder again, he whispered, "Tiny, how do you spell farm?"

"You are really dumb, Bubba. That's so easy. Farm is spelled E-I-E-I-O."

Normal car is better

Normal car is better

Reasons why a normal Car is a far superior vehicle than a F1 Car

"Hundreds of people and tens of millions of dollars go into building an F1 car, but a normal car is a far superior vehicle. You wonder what goes through those guys' minds when design their cars. THEY'RE ALL WRONG!!!!" 

No door... I mean, people have to climb in. Actually, ANYBODY can climb in and steal it. Pffft! 

No roof... The people who drive these things are left open to the elements. Like, even convertible cars have something you can pull over your head. 

No radio (AM and FM), no cassette nor CD player... how boring it must be to drive in those things for close to two hours without having anything to listen to. 

No heating... Being left open to the elements, the drivers' toes must become very cold after a while. 

No coffee cup holder... Those guys can spill all the hot (and dangerous stuff) over themselves. What with them steering with one hand and trying to drink with the other. 

No ashtrays and electric lighter... 

No windshield wipers... and they expect them to race in the rain? 

No windshields... Well, I guess no. 7 and 8 go hand in hand. 

No turn signals... How can they indicate they intend to pass? 

No headlights... No wonder they only drive in the day time. 

Only one brake light... 

Only one seat... How can a guy go necking with his girlfriend at the local drive in? 

No anchor for a baby seat... And they are trying to make us believe that safety comes first? 

No trunk... 

No adjustable seats... (mine goes back and forth, and can be tilted as well) 

High fuel consumption... 

Engines that don't last... 

Tyres that just wear off in no time flat... 

Where's the bloody ignition? I guess it's back to the old Model T days when the cars had to be crank started. 

No sun visor... Must be fun driving those things with the sun in the eyes. Talk about accidents waiting to happen. 

She's new to football

She's new to football

A guy took his girlfriend to her first football game. Afterward he asked her how she liked the game.

"I liked it, but I couldn't understand why they were killing each other for 25 cents," she said.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Well, everyone kept yelling, 'Get the quarter back!'"