Kids tough question

Kids tough question

Kids can sometimes ask the toughest questions.

Son: Father, Can I ask you a question?

Father: Ok ask.

Son: When a doctor doctors a doctor, does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as the doctor being doctored wants to be doctored or does the doctor doing the doctoring doctor as he wants to doctor.

Father: !!!??????!!!

You Know You've Turned Into a Mom When...

You Know You've Turned Into a Mom When...

You automatically double-knot everything you tie. 

You find yourself humming the Barney song as you do the dishes. 

You hear a baby cry in the grocery store, and you start to gently sway back and forth, back and forth. However, your children are at school! 

You actually start to like the smell of strained carrots mixed with applesauce. 

You weep through the scene in Dumbo when his mom is taken away, not to mention what Bambi does to you. 

You get soooo into crafts you contemplate writing a book called 101 Fun Crafts to do with Dryer Lint and Eggshells. 

You spend a half hour searching for your sunglasses only to have your teenager say, "Mom, why don't you wear the ones you pushed up on your head?" 

You are out for a nice romantic meal with your husband, enjoying some real adult conversation, when suddenly you realize that you've reached over and started to cut up his steak!

What should they say?

What should they say?

Three buddies die in a car crash, and they go to heaven to an orientation.

They are all asked, "When you are in your casket and friends and family are mourning upon you, what would you like to hear them say about you? The first guy says, "I would like to hear them say that I was a great doctor of my time, and a great family man." 

The second guy says, "I would like to hear that I was a wonderful husband and school teacher which made a huge difference in our children of tomorrow." 

The last guy replies, "I would like to hear them say, "Look! He's moving!"

Try to explain women

Try to explain women

A man dies and goes to Heaven. He gets to meet GOD and asks GOD if he can ask him a few questions.

"Sure," GOD says, "Go right ahead". 

"OK," the man says. "Why did you make women so pretty?"

GOD says, "So you would like them." 

"OK," the guy says. "But how come you made them so beautiful?" 

"So you would LOVE them", GOD replies. 

The man ponders a moment and then asks, "But why did you make them such airheads?" 

GOD says, "So they would love you!"

Were you ever arrested?

Were you ever arrested?

A lawyer was filling out a job application when he came to the question: "Have you ever been arrested?"

He answered no to the question.

The next question, intended for those who answered the preceding question with a yes, was "why?" Nevertheless, the lawyer answered it "Never got caught."

Advice from lawyers

Advice from lawyers

George and Lenny decide to cross North America in a hot air balloon. However, neither were particularly experienced balloonists, and Lenny's mind quickly drifted from navigation to thoughts of how clouds look like cuddly little bunny rabbits. Upon realizing that they were lost, George declared, "Lenny -- we are going to have to lose some altitude so we can figure out where we are."

George lets some hot air out of the balloon, which slowly descended below the clouds, but he still couldn't tell where they were. Far below, they could see a man on the ground. George lowered the balloon, to ask the man their location.

When they were low enough, George called down to the man, "Hey, can you tell us where we are?" The man on the ground yelledback, "You're in a balloon, about 100 feet up in the air."

George Called down to the man, "You must be a lawyer." "Gee, George," Lenny replied, "How can you tell?" George answered, "Because the advice he gave us is 100% accurate, and is completely useless".

The man called back up to the balloon, "You must be a client." George yelled back, "Why do you say that?" "Well," the man replied, "you don't know where you are, or where you are going. You got into your predicament through a lack of planning, and could have avoided it by asking for help before you acted. You expect me to provide an instant remedy. The fact is you are in the exact same position you were in before we met, but now it is somehow my fault."

14.09.2012 Pics

Indian having children

Indian having children

An Indian chief had three wives, each of whom was pregnant. The first gave birth to a boy. The chief was so elated he built her a teepee made of deer hide. A few days later, the second gave birth, also to a boy. The chief was very happy. He built her a teepee made of antelope hide. The third wife gave birth a few days later, but the chief kept the details a secret. He built this one a two story teepee, made out of a hippopotamus hide. The chief then challenged the tribe to guess what had occurred. Many tried, unsuccessfully. Finally, one young brave declared that the third wife had given birth to twin boys. "Correct," said the chief. "How did you figure it out?" The warrior answered, "It's elementary. The value of the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides."